It's really difficult to render to God what belongs to him.
For us it would be our time and energy, both physical and emotional.
O Lord how does this generation give you what belongs to you?
When so much of our time is taken up in stress and attempting to sort out our love life.
Is life with you really so grey, hazy and uncertain?
With God, are there really hazy areas?
Should we ever be uncertain or anxious about the things that are happening or the things to come?
Forgive us Lord for doubting you..
When we stubbornly refuse to surrender to Your will.
When we think that we know whats best for ourselves.
When we take your silence for a "yes" and go ahead with our will, and then seek Your blessing.
Forgive us when we are faithless O Lord..
Raise up this generation that through you, do mighty works in Your name.
Help us to learn to draw emotional and spiritual support from You alone first, before even thinking about leading others.
I always remember the time when I was about to enlist.
Jackie treated me to lunch at TM din tai fung.
We had a good chat about the boys, and army life in general.
Then at the end he prayed for me.
Somehow, God gave me a visual of that scene.
2 guys, sitting at a restaurant booth, praying.
And it occurred to me, what a truly wonderful scene to behold.
I dream that one day, when we walk into restaurants or food places or anywhere, we see young people sitting there praying for each other (:
Thank you Lord for giving me this vision.
Now empower me to work towards it.
Labour for the Lord is never in vain, and those who labour for Him, He will never shortchange. We'll never be on the losing end ;)
Its so comforting when I'm reminded that
the same God who created the universe
the same God that takes care of the birds and the trees
the same God that knows where every drop of rain will fall..
HAS SPECIFIC PLANS FOR ME ME ME!!
Can't wait can't wait!
In my life, your will be done.
Thanks so much for the past year being wholly in this love relationship with you.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
ttfn
In many things that we do, situations in our lives, relationships and thought processes, through the over usage of our limited human knowledge and wisdom, we tend to omit God from the equation.
This usually brings about much unnecessary fear and anxiety.
"Oh what peace we often forfeit, Oh what NEEDLESS pain we bear, All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer."
Are we truly in a state of total surrender to God in every aspect of our lives?
On a side note, my Class4 driving course starts tomorrow!
8 weeks of stay-in trainee life again.
And if I can clear the course by 29Dec, I get 5 days off!!! (:
So excited can't wait to go to camp tomorrow!
New friends and bunkmates!!
And driving the sexy 5-tonner. LOL
oh boy oh boy oh boy
Till the end of my course its gonna be pretty hectic.
Seeing as I'll bookout on Saturday afternoon and in again on sunday evening ):
And I'll be celebrating my 21st birthday in camp )))))):
Oh well, I'm sure God'll have a nice surprise and present for me too! heh
Take care all! =)
This usually brings about much unnecessary fear and anxiety.
"Oh what peace we often forfeit, Oh what NEEDLESS pain we bear, All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer."
Are we truly in a state of total surrender to God in every aspect of our lives?
On a side note, my Class4 driving course starts tomorrow!
8 weeks of stay-in trainee life again.
And if I can clear the course by 29Dec, I get 5 days off!!! (:
So excited can't wait to go to camp tomorrow!
New friends and bunkmates!!
And driving the sexy 5-tonner. LOL
oh boy oh boy oh boy
Till the end of my course its gonna be pretty hectic.
Seeing as I'll bookout on Saturday afternoon and in again on sunday evening ):
And I'll be celebrating my 21st birthday in camp )))))):
Oh well, I'm sure God'll have a nice surprise and present for me too! heh
Take care all! =)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The one where my mentee makes me laugh
ok what i know abt muhd is..
he was a merchant
and always pray to allah
den 1 day during his prayer... angel gabriel ka jiao him
he shout 'proclaim' to him.. den he chua.. so he try to run
so angel gabriel hug him tightly and shout proclaim again
den he cannot breathe... when he almost mati... angel gabriel let go... den he fled
after tht... angel gabriel keep appearing to him n tell him he is God's messenger
hahahahaha.
He has no idea how hard I laughed when I was reading it on MSN.
Till my mom came out and asked me what happened, I showed her, and She laughed along.
he was a merchant
and always pray to allah
den 1 day during his prayer... angel gabriel ka jiao him
he shout 'proclaim' to him.. den he chua.. so he try to run
so angel gabriel hug him tightly and shout proclaim again
den he cannot breathe... when he almost mati... angel gabriel let go... den he fled
after tht... angel gabriel keep appearing to him n tell him he is God's messenger
hahahahaha.
He has no idea how hard I laughed when I was reading it on MSN.
Till my mom came out and asked me what happened, I showed her, and She laughed along.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
I remember...
After much peer pressure (yes andrew and sheryl), I finally started watching 1 litre of tears.
Its the story of this girl Ikeuchi Aya who developed this disease called spinocerebellar atrophy, which essentially wastes away the part of the brain that controls our muscle coordination, but leaving the body organs intact.
In other words, she will gradually lose the ability to control all her muscles bit by bit, day by day, until eventually she pretty much cannot move any of her own muscles yet retains her sense of awareness and consciousness.
(Yes I started crying at episode 2 too Andrew.)
Watching this drama unfold really reminded me so much of what I went through not too long ago in 2005.
Seeing how much Aya's parents and family love her and care for her, how much they were willing to do for her wellbeing, just reminded me..
To those who were around in Dec2005, you'll know what I'm talking about, esp esp those who saw me in the ICU. I remember exactly every single one of you who came in those 10 days. =)
"Why did this disease pick me?"
-Aya
I can really relate to Aya in the sense that, even though our cases cannot really be compared, I do understand much of what she had gone through.
At 15, Aya was active in her school basketball team.
She had just entered into high school, a new life, new friends, new love interests.
Then all of a sudden she finds out that she has this degenerative disease that has no known cause and no known cure, that will affect her for the rest of her life.
To 16 year old me back then, I remember clearly all that went through my mind when I fell ill.
My first thought was: "byebye judo".
And then, "shit, what am I going to do with my life, if I even survive this episode?"
I guess my experience is similar yet unlike Aya's.
All of a sudden, I lost the ability to eat, drink, sit up, stand, walk, and pretty much everything that involved movement.
At 16 years old, right after seeing the results of my jc1 promo-mugging pay off.
"Why did this disease choose me?"
However that was a question Aya asked that I never did.
Somehow.
I didn't feel that question was relevant.
But watching Aya'a family react to her illness, just made me recall so many things..
Dad,
I remember the night you fetched me to CGH A&E.
I'd never been to any hospital A&E before in my entire life, the furthest being the occasional GP clinic.
I was in such great pain as I'd never experienced nor thought possible in my 16 years. Such great pain.
This feeling, I'd never felt it before.
What is this?
Whats going to happen?
Is it really appendicitis?
Am I going to have to do an op?
Aren't ops reserved for middle to elderly folks who never took care of their health when they were young? Meant for those who didn't eat properly or exercise regularly in their earlier years? For those who smoked and drank and abused their body?
Do I have to do an op?
I remember when they wheeled me in for my first operation.
It was like in the TV dramas. You and mom followed along as they pushed my bed to the operating theater. As I was wheeled in through those doors into that large spacious room with a cold metal table smack in the middle.
As they shifted me onto the cold metal surface and asked me to inhale the anesthetic.
I vaguely remember waking up to a burning body.
My mind was a blur, my thoughts disorganized and messy.
What had happened?
Am I out from my op?
What did they do to me?
I remember you sponging me down thousands of times to try to bring down my 42 degree fever.
Those few days when I was burning up so high it was scary.
When I had so many tubes running in and out of me I looked more decorated than a Christmas tree.
When just the sight of me could bring tears to my friends' eyes.
The doctor said I would have to go through another op.
Even with the high fever I was running.
"Its ok, he's young", you said.
"His body can take it", you said.
And you got cheesed when the doctor didn't want you to keep your hopes up.
Thank God I didn't hear that conversation for myself.
I was wheeled in again to the operating theater but this time, with my mind in a blur.
You can't think straight with your brains cooking at the same time.
I woke up in an ICU room.
The place where most people are touch-n-go.
There were no chairs in the room.
No windows.
It was like a jail.
Only, I couldn't explore my own cell.
You came by everyday, standing hours on end just to make sure I wasn't alone.
You came almost every visiting period when they would allow you in.
You slept outside the ICU many nights on the uncomfortable chairs outside because they wouldn't let you in.
I saw much of your hair turn from black to white.
I saw the pain and sadness in your eyes at the sight of your only son, lying on what could by all means have been his deathbed, but 60 years ahead of time.
I remember you saying that if God were to take me home then, maybe it would not have been such a bad thing after all. To leave at the age of 16, without cares and commitments. Without much 'suffering'.
But God had other plans.
In that very ICU room, God finally found you.
After years of avoiding, God found you there, by my bed side.
And He visited us.
He was there.
With me every night.
He was there.
When you said the sinner's prayer by my bed side.
He was there.
Through all my pain.
He was there.
(To be cont'd)
Its the story of this girl Ikeuchi Aya who developed this disease called spinocerebellar atrophy, which essentially wastes away the part of the brain that controls our muscle coordination, but leaving the body organs intact.
In other words, she will gradually lose the ability to control all her muscles bit by bit, day by day, until eventually she pretty much cannot move any of her own muscles yet retains her sense of awareness and consciousness.
(Yes I started crying at episode 2 too Andrew.)
Watching this drama unfold really reminded me so much of what I went through not too long ago in 2005.
Seeing how much Aya's parents and family love her and care for her, how much they were willing to do for her wellbeing, just reminded me..
To those who were around in Dec2005, you'll know what I'm talking about, esp esp those who saw me in the ICU. I remember exactly every single one of you who came in those 10 days. =)
"Why did this disease pick me?"
-Aya
I can really relate to Aya in the sense that, even though our cases cannot really be compared, I do understand much of what she had gone through.
At 15, Aya was active in her school basketball team.
She had just entered into high school, a new life, new friends, new love interests.
Then all of a sudden she finds out that she has this degenerative disease that has no known cause and no known cure, that will affect her for the rest of her life.
To 16 year old me back then, I remember clearly all that went through my mind when I fell ill.
My first thought was: "byebye judo".
And then, "shit, what am I going to do with my life, if I even survive this episode?"
I guess my experience is similar yet unlike Aya's.
All of a sudden, I lost the ability to eat, drink, sit up, stand, walk, and pretty much everything that involved movement.
At 16 years old, right after seeing the results of my jc1 promo-mugging pay off.
"Why did this disease choose me?"
However that was a question Aya asked that I never did.
Somehow.
I didn't feel that question was relevant.
But watching Aya'a family react to her illness, just made me recall so many things..
Dad,
I remember the night you fetched me to CGH A&E.
I'd never been to any hospital A&E before in my entire life, the furthest being the occasional GP clinic.
I was in such great pain as I'd never experienced nor thought possible in my 16 years. Such great pain.
This feeling, I'd never felt it before.
What is this?
Whats going to happen?
Is it really appendicitis?
Am I going to have to do an op?
Aren't ops reserved for middle to elderly folks who never took care of their health when they were young? Meant for those who didn't eat properly or exercise regularly in their earlier years? For those who smoked and drank and abused their body?
Do I have to do an op?
I remember when they wheeled me in for my first operation.
It was like in the TV dramas. You and mom followed along as they pushed my bed to the operating theater. As I was wheeled in through those doors into that large spacious room with a cold metal table smack in the middle.
As they shifted me onto the cold metal surface and asked me to inhale the anesthetic.
I vaguely remember waking up to a burning body.
My mind was a blur, my thoughts disorganized and messy.
What had happened?
Am I out from my op?
What did they do to me?
I remember you sponging me down thousands of times to try to bring down my 42 degree fever.
Those few days when I was burning up so high it was scary.
When I had so many tubes running in and out of me I looked more decorated than a Christmas tree.
When just the sight of me could bring tears to my friends' eyes.
The doctor said I would have to go through another op.
Even with the high fever I was running.
"Its ok, he's young", you said.
"His body can take it", you said.
And you got cheesed when the doctor didn't want you to keep your hopes up.
Thank God I didn't hear that conversation for myself.
I was wheeled in again to the operating theater but this time, with my mind in a blur.
You can't think straight with your brains cooking at the same time.
I woke up in an ICU room.
The place where most people are touch-n-go.
There were no chairs in the room.
No windows.
It was like a jail.
Only, I couldn't explore my own cell.
You came by everyday, standing hours on end just to make sure I wasn't alone.
You came almost every visiting period when they would allow you in.
You slept outside the ICU many nights on the uncomfortable chairs outside because they wouldn't let you in.
I saw much of your hair turn from black to white.
I saw the pain and sadness in your eyes at the sight of your only son, lying on what could by all means have been his deathbed, but 60 years ahead of time.
I remember you saying that if God were to take me home then, maybe it would not have been such a bad thing after all. To leave at the age of 16, without cares and commitments. Without much 'suffering'.
But God had other plans.
In that very ICU room, God finally found you.
After years of avoiding, God found you there, by my bed side.
And He visited us.
He was there.
With me every night.
He was there.
When you said the sinner's prayer by my bed side.
He was there.
Through all my pain.
He was there.
(To be cont'd)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
:))))
A day in the lecture room.
Encik: So who here is pesC wan? No need to take IPPT?
(4 people from my BMT coy stand up out of the 100 trainees)
Encik: You all what Pes?
(All say C2L2 one by one until....)
Me: C2L9, Encik!
Encik: C2L9?!?!?!!? (Very very long string of expletives) Basket Koo! You look like commando you C2L9?!?!?!?! You Chao Geng all the way is it????
Me (Laughing my ass off): No Encik!
HAHAHA I love my Encik. Damn cute. Like a little kid stuck in a 2WO body sometimes.
Which made me think back of the oh so many times since BMT when commanders looked at me and couldn't believe why I am pesC2L9.
From my first CSM to my sectcomd and then PC and now my new encik.
God is indeed faithful and will not abandon the work of His hands.
Whatever satan tears down, God will raise it up to more than it was before.
:)
Encik: So who here is pesC wan? No need to take IPPT?
(4 people from my BMT coy stand up out of the 100 trainees)
Encik: You all what Pes?
(All say C2L2 one by one until....)
Me: C2L9, Encik!
Encik: C2L9?!?!?!!? (Very very long string of expletives) Basket Koo! You look like commando you C2L9?!?!?!?! You Chao Geng all the way is it????
Me (Laughing my ass off): No Encik!
HAHAHA I love my Encik. Damn cute. Like a little kid stuck in a 2WO body sometimes.
Which made me think back of the oh so many times since BMT when commanders looked at me and couldn't believe why I am pesC2L9.
From my first CSM to my sectcomd and then PC and now my new encik.
God is indeed faithful and will not abandon the work of His hands.
Whatever satan tears down, God will raise it up to more than it was before.
:)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Up
After lagging for so long, finally caught Up yesterday!
Thanks Sheryl for lagging as much as me :P
Was a really cool show with funny and cute characters with a very very sweet main storyline.
Tugged at my heartstrings in just the first few scenes showing the old man's life and how his wife died.
*sniff sniff* Point~!
Thanks Sheryl for lagging as much as me :P
Was a really cool show with funny and cute characters with a very very sweet main storyline.
Tugged at my heartstrings in just the first few scenes showing the old man's life and how his wife died.
*sniff sniff* Point~!
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